Why the question comes up at Diwali
Festivals are when families take stock. Everyone is in one place, the year is drawing to a close, and the elders are thinking about the next generation. For parents the question is usually love, not pressure: they want to know their child will be happy and settled.
For the person being asked, especially one who grew up in Australia, it can land very differently. The same words can feel caring to one side and intrusive to the other.
For parents: ask once, then listen
A quiet conversation away from the crowd works better than a question in front of twenty relatives.
- Choose a calm moment, not the middle of the puja or the dinner table.
- Ask what they want, not when. Values, timing and the kind of person matter more than a date.
- Share what worries you honestly, and then really listen to the answer.
- Agree how involved you will be. Some want parents to lead, others want them beside them.
For sons and daughters: give them something to work with
Silence tends to invite more questions. A simple, honest answer often ends the pressure faster: what you are looking for, whether you are ready, and how you would like your family to help. Our guide on how to talk to your parents about marriage has more on this.
Beyond the forwarded biodata
Festive gatherings are also when relatives offer to "send a biodata", and by the end of the week it has travelled through several WhatsApp groups, with a phone number and photos attached. That is exactly the kind of exposure many families would rather avoid.
Khandaan was built for the way Desi families actually do this, family to family, but without the forwarding. Profiles are private by default, photos and contact details are shared only when both families agree, and introductions happen between families. You can create a free family profile and browse families in your city.
This Diwali, start the right way
Whether you are Hindu, Sikh or Jain, or simply celebrating with friends, the festival of lights is about new beginnings. If this is the year your family starts looking, start with a conversation, then take the next step together. From all of us at Khandaan: Shubh Deepavali, and Bandi Chhor Divas diyan vadhaiyan.